Red Bull Soapbox Derby

August 08 2010

Summer time is really only good for one thing – vacations. It’s way too fucking hot to do anything around the house so it’s just best to get the hell out of town for a couple weeks. While we may not be experts in much, we are experts in not working. In fact, we’ve perfected the art of vacationing. Some people take time off to lounge around the house or pack up the entire family to visit other family members. Not us. That shit is dumb and a waste of not working days.

He's back! Here is the exclusive new trailer for Bubba's Movie Moments Episode 3.

The things you learn while going 45 in a 30

Sep 5, 09:45 PM

…. And what will he do with this knowledge? Why pass it on to you our dear readers. Now keep in mind … send you the ticket. They don’t want the hassle of sending the ticket to the car owner when …

http://www.embefive.com/brothersbell/columns/70/the-things-you-learn-while-going-45-in-a-30

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Five years is a long god damned time

Jul 5, 09:45 PM

…Five years. Damn, that’s a long ass time to do a job without seeing a single paycheck …

http://www.embefive.com/brothersbell/columns/71/five-years-is-a-long-god-damned-time-to-do-anything

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An Ode To Michael Perry…

Jun 5, 09:45 PM

…. Flipping through the resumes Jeff and his assistant came across the most goofy looking picture … of a tree smiling ear to ear. Big ears. Big glasses. Jeff never really even read the resume, the … were on deadline, just on the other side of the glass. With no fear, Mike walked right up to the window … had to take a shot. Needless to say, Mike got his ass handed to him. For reasons not known now, Aaron … along the strip there is (or used to be) a big ass cow statue. One of its eyes was missing but that …

http://www.embefive.com/brothersbell/columns/72/an-ode-to-michael-perry

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And God said "let there be Sacrilecious"

May 5, 09:45 PM

…this was the only one without a website already associated with it. Which leads us to our next point … about him. We grew up listening to those crazy ass stories of him doin’ all that crazy shit. … . Or Buddha. Or Doe. That would be pretty kick ass if it were true. Maybe we should write our own … of reason and love? Or will it be just two jack-asses posting pictures of themselves flipping people …

http://www.embefive.com/brothersbell/columns/73/and-god-said-let-there-be-sacrilecious

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Nothing ever happens to us

Apr 5, 09:45 PM

…hand in hand with being editors of the most kick-ass, satirical newspaper around (not counting The … into how they came about their nicknames but rest assured that they are most appropriate. Both these … that a lot of sports bars have? Well, Aaron kicks ass at it… but not enough ass to beat Jedi. The … breaking his button pressing finger. Sheik Ahmed Yassin Oh shit… um never mind. Guys at the Hockey … for a later day. Needless to say these two jackasses thought they would start a fight with us. But …

http://www.embefive.com/brothersbell/columns/74/nothing-ever-happens-to-us

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